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Lego Vader may have a point..
  Does the title of this blog sound like you?  This is something I have always been curious about, though I have never personally been married, so maybe I wouldn't understand.  I am assuming that you got married to your partner because you know each other well enough to understand and accept their flaws, dreams and life goals, as well as love them enough to want to spend the rest of your lives together because they compliment your life, you care about each other and love each other unconditionally.

  The question is: Why do you crave attention from people you aren't married to?  Whether you flirt with other people when your spouse is not around, or you actively cheat on your partner, you want that attention from other people for some reason.  Maybe some things in life have changed your schedules around enough to barely see each other?   Maybe something in your marriage is making your relationship reach a plateau, so while it's stale, you get out of your funk by lifting your self-esteem via flirting/cheating, not even considering if it's hurting your marriage?  Maybe you feel like you've grown apart over time to the point of just feeling like roommates?  Maybe you fight about everything all the time and you're exhausted?  Do you believe the root of your problems with one another are honestly bigger than the love you once shared?

  I may have mentioned this in previous blogs, but a partnership is only as strong as its weakest link .  I cannot stress that enough.  You both made vows to each other before an officiant that you promise to be true to one another, through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, 'til death do you part.  Isn't this sacred anymore?  Why get married if you don't know what those words even mean in the first place??  What happened to honoring those vows?  I know some may argue that 'life is too short to be miserable, so why not split up once things go bad... blah, blah, blah..', but one thing I find is that too many couples give up way too easily in this fast-paced generation we live in!  If it's broken, why not try to fix it, rather than replacing it?  Your marriage is not a cell phone where if you drop it in the toilet, you toss it and get a new one.  If you see it that way, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your priorities.  
Love triangle from the manga "Peach Girl".

  Couples counseling has worked for many, so why can't it work for you?  I've had numerous conversations with friends in the past who have experienced these "relationship plateaus" and when I gave advice, it all boiled down to one common denominator: they forgot why they fell in love in the first place.  They have forgotten about the little things, like how their partner's hair smells because they don't hug each other as long as they used to;  they forgot about the cute looks they would get when they tell a joke wrong; they would forget about the butterflies they felt in their stomach the moment before the first kiss they shared, or the first time they held hands.  They forgot about the excitement of the first date, and how much fun they had.  This could take months, even years to reach this point, but I do notice a lot of couples reach the relationship plateau, it it gets really difficult to get out of it when you forget why you fell for each other to begin with.  

  I'm not even a marriage counselor, but it doesn't take a genius to figure this out- it just takes remembering
Another one for my fellow nerds- Sailor Moon & Tuxedo Mask.
how you watered the seed (the reason why you liked the person to begin with) that grew up to be a beautiful flower (when you fell in love and wanted to marry each other).

  Again, some may argue, "Well, it's not about what they did in the past- it's about what they have done lately!"  A marriage shouldn't be treated as a full-time job, where you give warnings to each other for every error that occurs before getting fired.  Love is the purest, most beautiful thing to exist in the universe, and too many have become too jaded to believe this.  It's actually sad.  Those of us who got to experience this natural phenomenon are lucky because it's not something you can buy at the store- true love these days is actually rare, despite how many couples get married every day.

  True love isn't perfect, but there's a lot of acceptance and compromising that is involved when you find it; obviously not to the point where you lose yourself, but just enough where you love and know yourself enough to understand that as you get to know the other person, you'd see if their life compliments yours and how you can problem-solve together as a team, before you decide if you want to spend your life with that person.  Without that sense of knowing your partnership is a team, and you have to help each other out- to make each other stronger, to make the bond stronger- then you have no business getting married in the first place, let alone be in a relationship.    

Johnny Cash & June Carter-Cash: My fave couple in history.
  When you reach these relationship plateaus, it's time for change.  Try something new with each other- schedule dates with each other in advance that work for both of your schedules, and try meeting up at the restaurant, like you may have when you first started to date.  If you have kids, get a close friend or family member to babysit- work with their schedules too.  If you don't feel ready to get to talking about your problems with each other just yet over dinner, maybe try going to the cinema to see a funny movie you both would enjoy- at least you're still spending quality time together, maybe even hold hands like you used to.  It may seem like hard work getting out of your funk to begin with, but anything worth keeping is definitely worth fighting for, and of all things, I do strongly believe that true love is worth all the effort.  




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