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We Are Our Own Biggest Bullies
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Hey readers!

  I always thought October was Bullying Prevention month, like how it was last year, but now I'm hearing it's Domestic Violence Awareness month?? I thought that was next month?  Oh well, here at Jamsterdam Radio, we'll stick to October being Bullying Prevention month, just to keep things consistent.

  Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the stories I've heard about bullies, and have even reflected on my own experiences: being bullied by other females when I was in high school, as well as putting up with stupid exes who have treated me badly to the point of mental/emotional/sexual abuse (when I was 20), as well as put up with exes friends who have treated me like absolute shit after the breakups, I've realized that the biggest bullies could be even closer than we'd think- not just friends, or even family... at times, life gets so hard, that we start to bully ourselves.  We are in fact, our own worst critics.

  When you make a mistake, do you ever call yourself  "stupid"?  When you look in the mirror, do you find yourself nitpicking at all your physical "flaws"?  When you survive traumatic events, do you automatically blame yourself for being at the wrong place at the wrong time?  Do you compare yourself to others and envy what they have, as opposed to being grateful of the great things you have in your life?  Do you find yourself constantly living in the past, having too much hope for the future, as opposed to ever being present in the moment in front of you?

  If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, it's time to make some changes- it's time to treat yourself better. No one is perfect.  Even those who seem to have it all have something they wish deep down that they had.  Even if you don't see why, someone out there would kill to have a quality that you have.

  Even if you think you're not beautiful or smart, you can bet your bottom dollar that someone you've come
across thinks you're absolutely incredible in your own unique way.  Being unique is a very good thing- makes you stand out in a crowd of clones.  Try looking at yourself in the mirror like you usually do, and rather than rip your looks apart, try focusing on the things you do like about yourself- you know you like at least one thing about yourself- everyone has something they're proud of, whether internal or external.  Embrace what you love.

  You blame yourself for traumatic events in your life?  Please stop doing that to yourself.  Beating yourself up will not change the past, nor will it make things easier- it could actually make things worse for you.  

  In terms of living in the past or future, you're allowing precious moments in the present time pass you by.  Embrace these moments- make new memories.  Experience life.  I think of all the parents out there who have lost their children due to illness, accidents, or even stillbirth or miscarriages, and these precious lives never got to see half of the things you get to see because they weren't with us long enough to do so.  Be grateful for your life and live for great experiences, as opposed to trying to "kill time" all the time.  We tend to take life for granted, and it has to stop.

  Why can't you be kinder to yourself?  Are your thoughts highly influenced by others? Is it all in your head?  Did past experiences scar you for life to the point where you believe you're only worth being talked down to?

  Life is too goddamned short to beat yourself up, or eat up other people's negative energy they try to throw your way.  Just play dodge ball with that kind of energy.  The people that surround you want to be negative and drag you down?  Get new friends that will uplift you.  Why can't we celebrate other people's accomplishments, as opposed to want to take them down?  Naturally, many humans (well, I noticed this particular force is strong in the Toronto area) don't want anyone doing better than them- so the hater nation just keeps expanding.  Know you're better than this kind of bullshit attitude.  If others want to possess this negative energy, then that's their prerogative.

  Anyway, I just felt like writing this message to whoever reads this because I find we need to learn to be kinder to ourselves.  If, as individuals we do that, this world would be a far better place.

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