Hey Readers!
So I was watching 90210 reruns on Netflix, and Liam caught his stepdad cheating on his mum with some skank in front of the Beverly Wilshire hotel. When Liam's mum found out on their front lawn that night, she angrily stormed back into the house and then her husband says, "Sweetheart, I can explain!" as he ran after her. Really? What is there to explain- was he going to say he 'tripped, and his fall was cushioned by his lips and hands landing all over another woman?' What more is there to honestly say once you're caught cheating? You cheated- no need for details- that's the end of the story. Goodbye!
If you didn't know, cheating is immature, disgusting, and stupid. Most of us have probably been tempted, or have actually indulged in this nonsense at some point, and all is forgiven when you break up with the person you've cheated on, then move forward on the road to being a better person.. but what if you never learn? What if, you will always have it in you to be unfaithful- to have your cake and eat it too? Some would say, "Well, cake is meant to be eaten!" I say, "Not if you don't want to get fat! You can just look, and daydream without the guilt."
Honestly, I don't care if you're 'just dating each other, not as an official couple', if you're only going on dates with just one person, that's enough to be fair and give it an honest enough chance by being faithful, not allowing outside parties to intrude, or potentially mess it up. More so if you're in an official relationship, and definitely once you've committed to marriage.
Think about it: People cheat for an array of reasons- one is definitely out of selfishness; another, out of feeding the ego; filling a void is another reason, or even avoiding intimacy. Think of those commitmentphobes who get hitched by a certain age because of pressure from society, or their families, end up being dreadfully unhappy then just stay "at work" for extended hours (well, that's what they tell the spouse anyways) just to have some illegitimate child outside of the marriage, resulting in divorce, and the spouse taking half their assets. I know- that's why prenups were invented... but why are we thinking of divorce before even getting married?
That's another thing: People take marriage way too lightly these days. It's not so much about the love anymore, but it seems to be more about the show, especially with social networking sites, where you can see your old school mates to brag and boast about how perfect their lives are right now- sound familiar? Well, I'm not judging those who make the big deal about the wedding celebration, but most of the people around my age just finished college not long ago... how can they afford the wedding celebrations that cost about $35,000+, the honeymoon, plus buying of a house and popping out a kid within the span of two years after graduating? I personally would prefer to start my married life without the burden of debt, or having to live off credit. A lot of marriages crumble hard due to fighting over finances.
Anyways, back to taking marriage too lightly or too early- what ever happened to experiencing life, traveling the world, exploring life without a partner, then falling head over heels with your soul mate who has experienced just as much life as you have, and totally digs you as a person, flaws and all, and who you can go run wild with together? I think this kind of situation is one worth waiting for! So what's the rush? Why are people honestly getting married by the age of 25? I'm sure most people are getting married because they're in love, but I know there are people getting married too early for the wrong reasons, who will eventually get divorced 2 kids and a mortgage deep. You cannot love yourself until you know yourself, and we have barely found ourselves by the age of 27, so how can you love someone else if you don't love yourself? That always kind of puzzled me.
Yes, some people mature faster than others, but let's be honest- when you're in school, or working full time, there isn't much time for exploring the world, or trying too many hobbies or anything... so, how have you found yourself if you're always stuck routinely doing the same things on a daily basis? Do you even make time for yourself? No, going out with friends doesn't count- that's not 'real time for yourself'.
By the way, the term "settling down" sounds so boring and final- like, the end of the world, or something dramatic like that. I prefer to call it "run wild with someone". If you run wild with your soul mate, there would be less of a chance of infidelity in your relationship because you're comfortable with each other, and you don't give each other limitations. You're your own boss, and if the other person is comfortable with your choices, and vice-versa, that's the kind of love that will last forever.
I know there isn't one concrete formula to prevent infidelity, but knowing yourself and being with your actual soul mate who doesn't give you limitations, who communicates openly with you, has hobbies of their own, gives you enough space to breathe (whether you live together or not) and keeps things interesting here and there, would probably help you stay faithful.
I am sure I can keep on typing about this topic, but I'll leave it open for a sequel- cheating happens all the time, but I'm hoping my opinion piece can open the eyes of a reader who is struggling with this issue, whether the cheater, or the one being cheated on and is in denial. If you're being cheated on, know that you deserve way better because that's a load of garbage no one is obligated to put up with... well, unless your partner is a polygamist, or you're part of a harem... either way- I don't agree with those lifestyles, but that's another topic for another day.
If you feel the need to be with someone else, break up with your spouse! Relationships are like teams- your team is only as strong as your weakest link. You're better off not being in a team, if you don't plan on pulling your weight to strengthen the team.
@JerZGrlinCanada
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| 90210 was infamous for their love triangles. |
If you didn't know, cheating is immature, disgusting, and stupid. Most of us have probably been tempted, or have actually indulged in this nonsense at some point, and all is forgiven when you break up with the person you've cheated on, then move forward on the road to being a better person.. but what if you never learn? What if, you will always have it in you to be unfaithful- to have your cake and eat it too? Some would say, "Well, cake is meant to be eaten!" I say, "Not if you don't want to get fat! You can just look, and daydream without the guilt."
Honestly, I don't care if you're 'just dating each other, not as an official couple', if you're only going on dates with just one person, that's enough to be fair and give it an honest enough chance by being faithful, not allowing outside parties to intrude, or potentially mess it up. More so if you're in an official relationship, and definitely once you've committed to marriage.
Think about it: People cheat for an array of reasons- one is definitely out of selfishness; another, out of feeding the ego; filling a void is another reason, or even avoiding intimacy. Think of those commitmentphobes who get hitched by a certain age because of pressure from society, or their families, end up being dreadfully unhappy then just stay "at work" for extended hours (well, that's what they tell the spouse anyways) just to have some illegitimate child outside of the marriage, resulting in divorce, and the spouse taking half their assets. I know- that's why prenups were invented... but why are we thinking of divorce before even getting married?
 |
| This is how lightly marriage is being taken these days. |
Anyways, back to taking marriage too lightly or too early- what ever happened to experiencing life, traveling the world, exploring life without a partner, then falling head over heels with your soul mate who has experienced just as much life as you have, and totally digs you as a person, flaws and all, and who you can go run wild with together? I think this kind of situation is one worth waiting for! So what's the rush? Why are people honestly getting married by the age of 25? I'm sure most people are getting married because they're in love, but I know there are people getting married too early for the wrong reasons, who will eventually get divorced 2 kids and a mortgage deep. You cannot love yourself until you know yourself, and we have barely found ourselves by the age of 27, so how can you love someone else if you don't love yourself? That always kind of puzzled me.
Yes, some people mature faster than others, but let's be honest- when you're in school, or working full time, there isn't much time for exploring the world, or trying too many hobbies or anything... so, how have you found yourself if you're always stuck routinely doing the same things on a daily basis? Do you even make time for yourself? No, going out with friends doesn't count- that's not 'real time for yourself'.
By the way, the term "settling down" sounds so boring and final- like, the end of the world, or something dramatic like that. I prefer to call it "run wild with someone". If you run wild with your soul mate, there would be less of a chance of infidelity in your relationship because you're comfortable with each other, and you don't give each other limitations. You're your own boss, and if the other person is comfortable with your choices, and vice-versa, that's the kind of love that will last forever.
 |
| Girls cheat too- don't act so innocent or shocked. |
I am sure I can keep on typing about this topic, but I'll leave it open for a sequel- cheating happens all the time, but I'm hoping my opinion piece can open the eyes of a reader who is struggling with this issue, whether the cheater, or the one being cheated on and is in denial. If you're being cheated on, know that you deserve way better because that's a load of garbage no one is obligated to put up with... well, unless your partner is a polygamist, or you're part of a harem... either way- I don't agree with those lifestyles, but that's another topic for another day.
If you feel the need to be with someone else, break up with your spouse! Relationships are like teams- your team is only as strong as your weakest link. You're better off not being in a team, if you don't plan on pulling your weight to strengthen the team.
@JerZGrlinCanada
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