1) Call me a cold-hearted bitch, but why do a lot of girls feel the need to see their boyfriends every single day? I know girls that find this normal, and I'm not knocking their happiness, but I could never understand how that doesn't get repetitive after a while to the point of boredom.
For me, personally, I honestly haven't felt the need to see my boyfriend (when I actually had one) every day unless we were living together- and even then, there's something called "Me time" or "Personal Space" that is needed. I've noticed in past relationships, I (comfortably) saw my boyfriend once or twice a month.
If your argument against this is that, 'Seeing each other only a few times a month isn't considered a real relationship', tell that to all of the long-distance couples out there who have been in longer, more meaningful relationships than you have ever experienced, or dreamed possible- especially those military wives/husbands who don't see their partners for months at a time.
It's just that there are only 24 hours in a day, and 7 days in a week..52 weeks in a year. Between work, sleep, bathroom stuff, showering, eating, and a normal social life (which some of us actually don't even have time for either), I see a relationship as more like an awesome add-on to life, as opposed to "completing" it.
If someone is awesome enough to trust and understand why I think seeing each other 3 to 7 times a week is overwhelming (unless we live together), then he's a total keeper. Don't get me wrong- when I care about someone, I'll make time for them, but too much time spent together can sometimes turn couples into each other, so there's a sense of self missing, which makes me uncomfortable... I need time for myself- even just an hour a day.
I know- "Jersey Girl- you sound so selfish. Maybe that's why you're single??" That is exactly why I am single. That, and the fact I've found myself spending time with guys who I would consider "life experiences", as opposed to "settle-down-and-have-kids-with material". I could have easily called them "wastes of time", but I've learned lessons from talking/hanging with them. Lessons learned are positive.
Don't get me wrong- when I'm in a relationship, I lose (maybe most of) that selfishness, but losing myself is not an option.
2) This is to my single ladies: If you notice all a guy contacts you for is something that will only benefit him, ditch the loser. He can say all the right things at all the right times, along with having movie-star good looks, and he looks good on paper, but it's the way he consistently makes you feel which is the sign of whether you should even talk to him or not. If you're without a doubt happy all the time when you're with him= keeper. If you're always paranoid, don't 100% trust him, or you find yourself questioning his intentions all the time (or even here and there), ditch him.
Oh, you're in a situation like this right now?? No really- don't deny it- you're only lying to yourself. I know- it's easier said than done to ditch the hottie douche bag, but trust me, there really IS better out there for you. Time to treasure yourself- no matter how bad at life you think you've been, a new beginning starts now, if you'll take it. Know that you really are deserving of someone in your life who treats you like gold that you would not hesitate for a second to return the favor for.
3) I know thoughts 1 and 2 are kind of hypocritical of each other, to those of you who didn't read that properly, but my point is that if you're going to spend time on people, whether they're your significant other, a potential partner, family, even friends- to prevent getting disappointed, then only spend your time on those who seem like they even value your time, no matter the relation.
For example: If you find people invite you to their weddings or birthdays, and you end up going, but they
never return the favor when it's your turn to celebrate, that's called bullshit- and know that you never have to tolerate it. I don't even bother going to people's weddings or birthdays that I don't see or talk to regularly because I'd rather not feel like "just another seat filler" at their popularity contest. Again- I know- that's harsh, but those of you who are reading this and nodding in agreement- you get where I'm coming from! Every relationship is about give and take- don't expect anything in return when you do something good for the people you love, but also know when to put your foot down the minute you feel used or walked on.
4) This leads to my next topic: Being charitable. Caring for your loved ones and philanthropy are two different things, by the way. Philanthropy is doing good for the sake of nourishing humanity, whether those on the receiving end are strangers or not. This was supposed to be a totally separate blog post, but I figure I might as well squeeze it into this long one I'm currently typing out.
I was on Instagram the other day, and lately, I've been sharing some Twitter posts on there. I got a response from a random Instagrammer that said, "Why you have no followers (philanthropy is something to be shared- people look up to me because I'm influential. If I help out charities, so will others."
First off- who says this about themselves? To my opinion, if you truly care about a cause, you don't care who knows about your efforts- you just care about helping out. If you want to let your friends/family know about these charity events to see if they would be interested in partaking in giving back, then that's one thing. It actually sickens me when I see people's "About Me" sections on social networking sites where they actually say they're a philanthropist. Needless to say, these accounts- I will never follow.
Secondly, if this chick was truly as influential as she says she is, she wouldn't be creeping strangers pics just to leave them comments that she's oh-so-influential to the point of influencing others to help out charities. I'm sure you don't see big name celebrities go up to strangers just to tell them "I'm famous!!", because that would just deserve one big "No shit, Sherlock!" But for virtual unknowns... come on. Seriously. It's just sad and pathetic.
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| This couple looks like they need space. |
If your argument against this is that, 'Seeing each other only a few times a month isn't considered a real relationship', tell that to all of the long-distance couples out there who have been in longer, more meaningful relationships than you have ever experienced, or dreamed possible- especially those military wives/husbands who don't see their partners for months at a time.
It's just that there are only 24 hours in a day, and 7 days in a week..52 weeks in a year. Between work, sleep, bathroom stuff, showering, eating, and a normal social life (which some of us actually don't even have time for either), I see a relationship as more like an awesome add-on to life, as opposed to "completing" it.
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| It's Me-O'Clock. |
I know- "Jersey Girl- you sound so selfish. Maybe that's why you're single??" That is exactly why I am single. That, and the fact I've found myself spending time with guys who I would consider "life experiences", as opposed to "settle-down-and-have-kids-with material". I could have easily called them "wastes of time", but I've learned lessons from talking/hanging with them. Lessons learned are positive.
Don't get me wrong- when I'm in a relationship, I lose (maybe most of) that selfishness, but losing myself is not an option.
2) This is to my single ladies: If you notice all a guy contacts you for is something that will only benefit him, ditch the loser. He can say all the right things at all the right times, along with having movie-star good looks, and he looks good on paper, but it's the way he consistently makes you feel which is the sign of whether you should even talk to him or not. If you're without a doubt happy all the time when you're with him= keeper. If you're always paranoid, don't 100% trust him, or you find yourself questioning his intentions all the time (or even here and there), ditch him.
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| Because, why not? |
3) I know thoughts 1 and 2 are kind of hypocritical of each other, to those of you who didn't read that properly, but my point is that if you're going to spend time on people, whether they're your significant other, a potential partner, family, even friends- to prevent getting disappointed, then only spend your time on those who seem like they even value your time, no matter the relation.
For example: If you find people invite you to their weddings or birthdays, and you end up going, but they
 |
| This is what space fillers at parties look like. |
4) This leads to my next topic: Being charitable. Caring for your loved ones and philanthropy are two different things, by the way. Philanthropy is doing good for the sake of nourishing humanity, whether those on the receiving end are strangers or not. This was supposed to be a totally separate blog post, but I figure I might as well squeeze it into this long one I'm currently typing out.
I was on Instagram the other day, and lately, I've been sharing some Twitter posts on there. I got a response from a random Instagrammer that said, "Why you have no followers (philanthropy is something to be shared- people look up to me because I'm influential. If I help out charities, so will others."
 |
| The tweet that pissed off some rando chick. |
Secondly, if this chick was truly as influential as she says she is, she wouldn't be creeping strangers pics just to leave them comments that she's oh-so-influential to the point of influencing others to help out charities. I'm sure you don't see big name celebrities go up to strangers just to tell them "I'm famous!!", because that would just deserve one big "No shit, Sherlock!" But for virtual unknowns... come on. Seriously. It's just sad and pathetic.
Whatever happened to being charitable without expecting praise or recognition for your goodwill and humanitarian efforts? It's one thing if you're actually Angelina Jolie, who is a United Nations Goodwill Ambassador, or if you're throwing a charity event and you want people to know about it to spread the word or help raise funds... then on the other hand, it's a little tacky when all you're promoting is the fact you're calling yourself a philanthropist, especially when you're doing jack all besides spewing words.
I don't know- this whole blog was an opinion piece- my own opinion about random topics. If you have something to say about any of this, comment down below, or tweet me @JerZGrlinCanada
If you're in an area that's experiencing extreme heat, stay hydrated and have a great weekend!
I don't know- this whole blog was an opinion piece- my own opinion about random topics. If you have something to say about any of this, comment down below, or tweet me @JerZGrlinCanada
If you're in an area that's experiencing extreme heat, stay hydrated and have a great weekend!
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