Remember
that episode of The Simpsons when
Lisa’s class was on a class trip to dig for dinosaur bones and found that
“angel skeleton”?
This
skeleton has a message on it that reads something like “The End Is Near”, which
leads everyone in Springfield to think the end of the world is coming. Getting closer to sundown, people are
freaking out and telling each other things they would not have had the guts to
say otherwise- including Smithers telling Mr. Burns that he’s in love with
him. Awkward. It all ended up being a marketing tool to
lead people to a new mall opening in town.
If you are
secretly in fear of the end, are you checking off everything on your bucket
list now? End of the world or not, I
think if you have a list of things you would like to achieve before you die,
you should probably get on it for the sake of living a more fulfilled
life. Especially you dumb asses out
there that say “YOLO” all the time: Stop saying it (no really- STOP!) and
start living it!! The only time anyone should ever say it is if they're describing the county in Northern California (Yolo County, next to Sacramento County).
Whoever
started the rumor of this “Y2K Re-Run” is an asshole
who needs to desperately get a life. I heard about people
in Russia taking this very seriously and getting their survival kits ready, in
case they still have a chance to live beyond December 21. It seems to be stressing people out for no
reason.
Despite the
Y2K Re-Run landing on December 21st, just four days before Christmas, it seems not many Torontonians are even the least bit worried since the
malls and post offices are as busy as any other Christmas season. Heck- there was even that monkey found
shopping at Ikea a few days ago, dressed in a sheepskin coat!
I wonder what people think is going to happen
on this day: will aliens be involved? If
the end is supposed to come at midnight of the 22nd, what time zone
will see the end first? Will there be a
countdown on t.v. like New Years Eve, with live coverage? Will it look like look like Britney Spears’
video for “Till the World Ends” where the parties that night are complete with
choreographed dance moves, orgies, a few costume changes and sewers?
Speaking of
orgies, upon the realization that the world is still here, I wonder how many
people will end up at the gyno on the 22nd just to get checked up
after stupidly having unprotected sex with randoms because ‘you only live once’? To all the gynos: get your holiday shopping
done as soon as you can, for you sure as hell won't have time for any last
minute shopping due to all those hopeful walk-ins. Heck- maybe you'll be the doctor who
discovers 8 new STDs in record time.. you'd be famous!
I wonder how
many women will attempt to con their boyfriends into marrying them before the 21st
because “it’s their dying wish”? If you
run into a situation like this, guys: don’t fall for any of that horse shit. The world will still be here to see
Christmas. If a situation similar to this comes up, put away
the gift you bought her and give her a fruit cake, or a rock you found on the
side of the road instead.
With all this "end of the world" and
"YOLO" talk in 2012, no wonder there are so many people these days
doing such stupid things.. getting dumber by the minute. After the 21st, when
we see the world is still here, it’s really time to quit the stupidity and
smarten up!
*Doomsday is such a hot topic, it resulted in the most schizophrenic blog
post I have ever written.
Happy Thursday! :)
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